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Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a [fizzle]ing Jeep.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a [mangina] would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
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