[mushkid]

ok i am sorry if i upset anyone here but i had too!!!!!

1. What is funnier than a dead baby?
   A dead baby in a clown costume.
2. What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
   No one cries when you chop up the baby.
3. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
   One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
4. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
   Dart-boards don't bleed.
5. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
   About 500 calories.
6. Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
   So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
7. Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
   The family used it to crack nuts.
8. Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
   They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
9. Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
   So you can see the expression on their faces.
10. Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
    So that if its born dead they can make soup.
11. Why did the baby cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.
12. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
    It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
13. How many babies fit in a blender?
    Depends on how powerful the blender is.
14. How do you know when a baby is dead?
    It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling.
15. How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
    Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
16. How do you save a drowning baby?
    Harpoon it.
17. How do you turn a baby into a dog?
    Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.
18. How do you turn a baby into a cat?
    Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow.
19. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    With a blender.
    How do you get them out again?
    With Doritos.
20. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off its head.
    or:
    A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby.
21. What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
    Blood brothers.
22. What is red and is creeping up your leg?
    An abortion with homesickness.
23. What is a foot long and can make a woman scream?
    Stillbirth.
24. What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?
    Crib death.
25. What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
    Art.