A guy walks into a bank and asks the teller to check his balance. She pushed him over.

I just thought I'd share an email I received today. Enjoy!

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or

three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.




I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No crap, really? Ya think?


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Police Begin Campaign to

Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!


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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!


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Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!


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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!


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War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!


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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It

May Last Awhile

Ya think?


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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!


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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!


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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?


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Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

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New Study of Obesity Looks for

Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!


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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!


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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?


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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!


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And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;

Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles..

"Wow. Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I."

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?"

"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet…then the women try to guess who it is."

The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."