Dead babie jokes!!!!!!

[mushkid]

ok i am sorry if i upset anyone here but i had too!!!!!

1. What is funnier than a dead baby?
   A dead baby in a clown costume.
2. What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
   No one cries when you chop up the baby.
3. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
   One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
4. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
   Dart-boards don't bleed.
5. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
   About 500 calories.
6. Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
   So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
7. Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
   The family used it to crack nuts.
8. Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
   They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
9. Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
   So you can see the expression on their faces.
10. Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
    So that if its born dead they can make soup.
11. Why did the baby cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.
12. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
    It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
13. How many babies fit in a blender?
    Depends on how powerful the blender is.
14. How do you know when a baby is dead?
    It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling.
15. How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
    Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
16. How do you save a drowning baby?
    Harpoon it.
17. How do you turn a baby into a dog?
    Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.
18. How do you turn a baby into a cat?
    Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow.
19. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    With a blender.
    How do you get them out again?
    With Doritos.
20. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off its head.
    or:
    A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby.
21. What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
    Blood brothers.
22. What is red and is creeping up your leg?
    An abortion with homesickness.
23. What is a foot long and can make a woman scream?
    Stillbirth.
24. What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?
    Crib death.
25. What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
    Art.

[Graham_A_M]

wow, those were very tasteless... I dont know how you or anybody else would find that funny, and thats comming from a guy that doesn't like or want kids even.

[D'sMx-6]

Yeah, that [shizzle] was pretty disturbing. I can't make a funny out of these.

[vandejm]

not funny at all...

[TR-mx6]

AH MAN! some of these are funny somehow but those 4 last ones were just plain wrong! And somehow that makes them really funny too. Still just wrong though.

[mhale71]

loosen up guys, those were terrible...


but i lulled a bit. theyre better on their own being told to old women than in big lists

[Davaro]

Pretty nasty to post that. Bit sick though but I have to admit 1 or 2 made me chuckle.

[Goatcrapp]

I appreciate a good dead baby joke... don't let all the tree hugging puppy huggers get you down.

Whats the difference betweena dead baby and a rock?

you can't [fizzle] a rock... (alternate - you can't eat a rock)


another: what's worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?

1 dead baby in 10 garbage cans.

[vrouv06]

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwhich?

I don't [fizzle] my sandwhich before i eat it


How do you make a three year old cry twice?

*too graphic, even for this thread*

[Mazda SpeedFeen]

sseriously some of these are [fizzle]ing disturbing.

and in the ad on the bottom it says baby then Enfamil like wtf irony?

feen

[mflbrody]

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I don't have a ferrari in my garage..

[BSmoothXTR]

So when did murder/pedophile jokes become the in thing? And as for babies dying, all y'all can [fizzle] off that think this [shizzle]'s funny.

And before you jump on me for being a "tree hugging hippie" like Goat says, remember my oldest son is disabled dut to a heart condition where we almost lost him.

[Goatcrapp]

My issue comes more from the fact that people come into a thread titled "dead baby jokes" and then act all schocked when they see... dead baby jokes.

Shock humor is nothing new.

I'm sorry about your son and if this offends you.. but keep in mind, the title of the thread was clearly spelled out... you knew beforehand if you would be offended or not. You're too busy mixing your own emotional situation in with other people's humor... there's absolutely no correlation between what a person might find funny, and how that person would feel about your son's situation.

I lost all of my grandparents in a tragic manner. Does that mean no one else should ever tell a grand mama joke, "i've fallen and i can't get up" jokes, or etc, just so as to not offend me?

I find the fact that you feel the need to come into a thread that is very clear about its contents, and tell everyone to "[fizzle] off" for their choice in jokes, very offensive. (see the irony?)

its no different (other than subject) than most of the other one or two liners you'll come across... so if you've found any of them funny then you too are guilty of being insensitive to someone elses plight. to be perfectly fair, you'll have to go on a crusade against all such jokes... retard jokes.. black/white/jewish/polish jokes, jokes about women, jokes about gay/lesbians, jokes about fat people, jokes about hondas, cats, dogs, etc.

At the end of the day, you still saw a thread entitled "dead baby jokes" - which couldn't be made more clear as to the subject matter, and decided to enter anyway, knowing you would be offended. While those posting the jokes are simply sharing a brand of humor (that you may not agree with) - YOU on the other hand, posted purely to tell them (us?) to [fizzle] off.

simple answers.. offended by dead baby jokes? don't open a thread called dead baby jokes.

offended by little johnny jokes? don't open a thread titled "little johnny goes to 3rd grade" or similar.

offended by white jokes? don't watch comedy central, chris rock, or mad tv.


and for all those people who can't separate their personal lives from various topics of humor - you can go "[fizzle] off" (to use your own emotionally charged terminology). - I'm going to go find some ny bashing, italian, and old people falling jokes and post how offended i am at them...

[guitardude1568]

Originally Posted by Goatcrapp

what's worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?

1 dead baby in 10 garbage cans.

I heard that one as:

whats worse than 10 dead babies tied to a tree?

1 dead baby tied to 10 trees.

[Nealio]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a cheeseburger.

too graphic even for a dead baby thread